can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
