so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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