I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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