Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
