Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
