first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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