I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
