I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
