Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
