I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
