not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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