Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
