I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
one two three fourrrrnication!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
