We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
