This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
