no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
