I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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