You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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