I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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