I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
