Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm always down for nudity.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
