I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
