Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Sober January is a disaster.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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