Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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