somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
