I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
