I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
