If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
