i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
