But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
