you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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