don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
