I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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