Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
