you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
