I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
