I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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