she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
