i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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