I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
