I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It was confusing and full of hummus
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
