When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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