How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
