he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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