No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
