i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
