i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
