Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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