Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Someone signed my nipple.
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