# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
