I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
