Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
